the way that light attaches to a girl

monstrous life update!

2007-06-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how long it has been since I posted. This year has been one of the craziest to date. In the past five months since I updated, the following has happened:

-I have a niece! (January)
-I went to Japan (April)
-I went through a horrible break-up (April)
-I quit my job (May)
-I was admitted to an MA program in Jerusalem (April)
-I am leaving my beloved Chicago and moving to Jerusalem (June)
-I spoke to my father for the first time in quite some time (April)
-I commemorated ten years that my mom died (May)

....
not bad, right? It's honestly really crazy when I think about it. And now that the basic logisitical information is updated, I can share my thoughts about other madness.

It blows my mind to think that I am actually leaving Chicago. I have lived here for five years now, and, as far as I am concerned, I love the hell out of this place. Chicago is an amazing city. It's constructed along a grid, which makes for easy navigation. Architecturally, you can't beat it. The city is reasonably clean. There are amazing restaurants. During the summer, the city comes alive in ways non-Chicagoans would never have thought possible: free movies, street fairs, festivals, the Taste, summer concerts... I will miss all of it so much. And yet, for now, I think it's time to go. After everything that happened with the Ex of Doom (formerly known as He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, yet demoted to the aforementioned title because a Voldemort reference was too cool for someone so undeserving) and seeing all of the people I love from college during Alumni Weekend, I realized that it was time to leave for a bit. I hope to come back, but who knows? My plans have changed so many times that I think flexibility is a good thing. No plans beyond the two years of my MA program.

Speaking of, I cannot even articulate how happy I am to go back to school. I am sure Hebrew will kick me in the pants rather hard when I first get to Israel (as opposed to being in Miami for spring break, and asking for a pair of pants instead of a pair of socks to try on some shoes). It will be a huge change to the life I have lived in Chicago. No car. No beloved red couches in my new apartment. But! I will be living downtown. There will be crazy Israeli family. There will be Yoja. There will be the beautiful (albeit very confusing) campus of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Delicious food straight out of the marketplace right by my apartment will be available 24/6. And, of course, the requisite insane encounters with crazy Israelis. Most of all, it will be a new place with a fresh start to the next chapter of my life. And that may be the most important of all.

pressure cooker

2007-01-20T09:56:00.000-08:00

In the six months that I have been out of college, I have yet to determine what will be happening in my life next year. I applied early decision to my dream law school and was deferred. I contemplate whether I should have applied to other schools, but feel strongly that I need to work on certain aspects of my application for the next cycle to make it as strong as possible. If by some miracle I do get into this fabulous institution to which I applied for admission, then my life will be great. But will it? How do we really know that, when we want something and seek to achieve it, our goal is truly what we should be seeking?

When applying to college, I felt certain I would be admitted to the university of my choice. And I was. But I no longer feel that kind of confidence about law school, graduate school, or even in my current career path. I worry constantly whether this incident or that thing will get me in trouble at work. I wonder whether I am doing a good job, or my profound lack of experience by virtue of being so young makes people look at me as just the cute, young, new girl--void of all intelligence and possible meaningful contributions to the company. I question what graduate programs I should pursue. Law? Middle East studies? Even (gasp) the Rabbinate?!

Every choice has drawbacks. Nothing is without its pitfalls. Law school has the greatest appeal and flexibility at this point. I have wanted to go for a long time. The law resonates with me personally, and I know I could make a difference in the lives of so many people. Yet the hours are brutal. I know that, when I graduate (unless I went to a school with amazing loan forgiveness) I would have to sell out and work for a big corporate firm for awhile to pay off loans. Getting a Ph.D. would be amazing. I am incredibly interested in Middle East studies. I love being a Hebrew speaker. I love being in the Middle East and would love to see more than just Israel. Yet I don't know if I would want to be an academic. Having a Ph.D. is rather restrictive. You have to work as a professor, researcher or for some kind of think tank. It's also extremely difficult to advance in a career without being extraordinary. While I used to think I was extraordinary, I don't know that I feel the same now at all. The Rabbinate is a whole nother story. I feel connected to Judaism, Jewish culture, etc. I would like to help people in the Jewish community and reach out to them, help them heal spiritually. Yet many people say that one should heed some kind of call to enter the clergy. Is that true? Do you need to heed a call to become a rabbi? Am I being called? My internal phone does not appear to be ringing.

I also think that these feelings of anxiety, doubt, the pressure to succeed and make money, acquire prestige and stability, etc. are extremely difficult to verbalize in a coherent way to anyone. My friends all seem to know what I am talking about when I try to articulate my feelings--albeit in a garbled, confused stream of consciousness way. Even those of my friends in graduate school seem to feel this incredible sense of weighty anxiety about their futures.

I guess the question remains--at any point in life, does anyone actually have his/her act together? Does anyone actually know what the hell he/she is doing? I wonder if I will ever know the answer.

All That Glitters...

2006-11-19T19:41:00.000-08:00

Ah, disenchantment. A natural emotion to experience during the year after graduating from college. Many people reflect on their college years as some of the best in their life. In my experience, that was certainly true. Home life for me was never all that it was cracked up to be, and college was what I looked to every time my family experienced technical difficulties. And, truly, college was amazing. I was fortunate enough to attend the university of my choosing and graduate without loans (a special shout-out to the legal system for making that happen!), and continue to reside in a city I love. I don't live at home (thank G-d) and do not depend on anyone financially. I am self-sufficient and have a nice place to live. I have clothes, food, shelter, and amazing friends. What more can a girl ask for?

A lot, I think. Having the essentials is something that warrants gratitude, yet doesn't seem to bring about emotional fulfillment. There is this continuous push/desire for something else, for something new: obtaining more/higher education, getting a better job, making more money, finding new/more friends, the quest for love... There is always a continual desire for self-improvement, whether it's through maintaining a sense of style, losing weight, propriety, humor... I guess that this is the nature of the human existence. Without any type of pursuit, is life worth living?

I don't have an answer, really. Yet I continue to wonder if we pursue the right things. My roommate and I were just talking about the tremendous number of activities that she does, and how difficult it is to accurately quantify the things she does or make them tangible to others. To me, the things that occupy her time are obvious because of their importance in her life. When I think about what I do, I laugh to myself. I work, study, cook, eat, sleep, try to exercise, read books, spend time with friends, try to fit in indulgences, worry about my family, and agonize about law school/the LSAT. And yet, I wonder. At my office, so many of the women are mothers and have families. That is something that I want desperately, and also dream about all the time. What is the importance of family now? What are modern American family values in 2006?

Bah--this is a lot of philosophical rambling for one blog entry that I am doubtful anyone reads. Perhaps I will come back another time in the near future.

"Modern" Relationships

2006-10-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

As a newly single twentysomething, I got to thinking about relationships. In modern American society, women are supposed to be "liberated." We can dress as we please each day, return to our self-owned homes each night, drive our own cars, hold down our chosen careers, and follow our own hearts. Does this mean, then, that this self same modern American woman must also go dutch on first dates and hold her own doors?

An avid fan of Sex and the City and Grey's Anatomy, I have contemplated how these notions are presented to American society in the media for awhile. On both shows, you see strong, beautiful women with a variety of powerful careers: attorney (Miranda is my favorite for obvious reasons), a leader in public relations, a woman who works at a gallery, a successful freelance writer, and surgeons. These women are intelligent, fashionable, gorgeous, well educated, funny, and quick witted. This, we are told, is what we are supposed to be. They also have varying perspectives on relationships. Carrie is a serial monogamist--she gets involved with one man for awhile and stays devoted until things get a bit rocky. Charlotte lusts after her ideal marriage partner. Miranda has short flings and one lasting love that produces a child. Samantha is the "promiscuous" member of the fearsome foursome.

The female leads on Grey's Anatomy seem to be more fluid in their relationships (and more ethnically and physically variable--a pleasant switch). Meredith is in love with McDreamy, yet can date other men and has a number of sexcapades. Cristina settles down with Burke, but struggles with the seriousness of her relationship. Izzie falls madly in love with Deni and gets engaged only to have her fiancee pass away. Calli loves George, who breaks her heart and pushes her to sleep with McSteamy.

I have also debated with friends about the merits and problems of magazines like Cosmopolitan. I enjoy reading Cosmo and think that it has some redeeming qualities. It promotes safe sex, taking care of one's friends, awareness of health issues, eating disorders, etc. It does have its requisite trashiness, but that is part of its charm. It does promote a sexualized version of women--but what in American culture doesn't? Shampoo ads feature women feigning orgasm. It doesn't get more graphic than that, people. At least Cosmo has some remote aspect of intelligence and helpful information.

After viewing all of these different possibilities, it continues to remain unclear what path American women should take. I have dated a variety of men: the athlete, law students, the mathy/computer science geek, the scientist, the Marine core officer candidate, the bad boy, the drummer, the frat boy... Some of these characteristics are linked, and some of them are not. All of the men I have dated, however, lack one fundamental quality: they are not romantic.

Sure, some of them had great manners. Some of them took me on incredible dates that I will always remember. There were the occasional romantic surprises. But romance on a regular basis? Forget it. Regular displays of love and affection--both emotionally AND physically? No way. Old fashioned dating where they open the car door for you, bring you flowers for no reason, walk on the right side of the street, make you dinner by candlelight, spontaneous gestures of affection and kindness? Most definitely not. And when you tell them you need these things, the response is always the same: "Women are so demanding!" My most recent ex in particular was great at making me feel terrible for wanting the standard "I love you" on a regular basis.

From my perspective, what women want is, in fact, very difficult to attain. See this quote from Carrie: "Later that day I got to thinking about fairy tales. What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have laid in that glass box forever? Or would she have gotten up, spit out the apple, gotten a job and a health care plan and moved on with her life?" We modern American women do want jobs, health care plans, and the strength/ability to get up out of our glass box and walk away without a need for Prince Charming. Yet thoughts of him still linger. Is he out there? Will I find him if I leave my glass box? If and when I do find him, will I be skinny enough and wearing the right shade of lipstick?

I think the answer women want to hear is a resounding "yes!" We do want the fairy tale. We dream of our wedding days, bridesmaids, and children. We do want Prince Charming, even if he does have to wait to whisk us away until after our 2:30 meeting. We do like flowers, candy, and random acts of kindness. Yet the question remains: are American men "man" enough to find us?

Helping Promote Breast Cancer Awareness

2006-10-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

This post is for the ladies. If you would like to help contribute to breast cancer awareness while simultaneously pampering yourself, have I got something for you!

For the entire month of October, spas across the nation have special deals going where you pay $31 for a variety of treatments. The website is http://www.prettycity.com/pink/ to find the participating location nearest you. Enclosed in this post is the list of sites for Chicago. They also have them for other places. Enjoy pampering yourself while simultaneously benefitting women everywhere!

Rachel K Salon 45 East Oak Street
Chicago, IL 60611
(312) 202-0333 $31 haircut: Come on in and try a fabulous new fall hair cut with one of our talented stylists (normally $75)
$31 single process haircolor or glaze: Let us give you a fresh hair color to complement your new Fall wardrobe, and top it off with a glaze for serious shine (normally $60)
$31 partial highlighting: Brighten your day and your hair at the same time with a few highlights to complete your total look (normally $85)

Fuga, An Italian Escape
Neighborhood: Southport 3853 N. Southport Ave.
Chicago, IL 60613
(773) 880-1280 $31 Blow-outs

$31 Pedicures

$31 Brazilians

Shen Shen Health & Harmony
Neighborhood: Lincoln Park 2764 N. Lincoln Ave.
Chicago, IL 60614
Phone: (773) 935-4325 1/2 hour massage or bodywork session: Choose from: Swedish/Relaxation, Deep Tissue, Tui Na (Chinese Acu-pressure), Lymph Drainage, Trager Approach, Pregnancy and Post-partum (normally $50)
Cupping Treatment: Small glass cups are suctioned onto the skin to relieve the underlying tissues of pain and tension (normally $45)
Chinese Medicine Herbal Consultation: Based on an assessment of body, mind, & emotions, the practitioner recommends herbal formulas to alleviate and prevent health problems (normally $45)

Ambra European Day Spa
Neighborhood: Gold Coast 1011 North Rush Street, 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60611
(312) 337-5065
Brazilian Bikini Wax: This procedure involves the complete removal of hair or leave a small line. As you wish! (normally $50 and up)
Fantasy Tan: The world first and finest sunless airbrush tanning system.The results are an even, natural, flawless tan
Ear Candling: A simple, effective method for removing ear wax buildup, fungus and impaction from within the ear canal (normally $50)

Elizabeth Adam Salon and Day Spa:
Neighborhood: Gold Coast
845 N. Michigan Ave., Suite 908E
Water Tower Place
Chicago, IL 60611
(312) 988-9611 Foot Reflexology: An ancient form of "pressure treatment" (normally $50)
Mini Facial: Best for those with limited time, the mini version of the best-selling equilibrium facial (normally $50)
Brazilian Bikini Wax: This close wax means the freedom to wear even the most revealing swimwear and lingerie (normally $50)

Red 7 Salon
Neighborhood: River North
210 West Kinzie Street, 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 644-7337 Men's Haircuts, normally $40

Women's Blow-out, normally $40

Sona Medspa
Oak Brook 1200 Harger Rd., Suite 330
Oak Brook, IL 60523
(630) 571-6000 Microdermabrasion with Ultrasonic facial: An excellent skin rejuvenation experience, walk out with no makeup. A wonderful exfoliation with improved micro circulation (normally $125)
ColoreScience Mineral Makeup Makeover: Colore Science mineral makeup is healthy for all skin types. No chemicals, oils, waxes, or preservatives (normally $125)
Laser Hair Removal for Underarms: Reduce unwanted hair with laser technology (Normally $225)

Honey Child Salon & Spa
Neighborhood: The Loop 735 North Lasalle
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 573-1300 Mojito Creme Body Butter 30 min. Massage: Lime-infused body butter along with classic massage techniques ease and uplift the tired mind & relieve muscle congestion (normally $65)
Lemongrass & Tangerine Manicure: This rejuvenating treat for hands uses tangerine and lemongrass salt scrub to exfoliate, followed by an invigorating massage plus Paraffin (normally $40)
Single process hair color: Enjoy shiny and vibrant hair just in time for fall. Our expert colorists will create a color that is exquisite just for you (normally $60)

Kaya Day Spa
Neighborhood: West Loop
112 North May Street
Chicago, IL 60607
(312) 243-5292 Detoxification Bath: A highly therapeutic bath designed to assist the body in the elimination of toxins and germs (normally $50)
Ear Candling: An ancient method of deep ear cleaning that helps alleviate problems like blocked sinuses, loss of hearing and allergies (normally $45)
Reflexology: This Far East method uses thumb pressure to work reflex points on the feet and release energy through the body (normally $45)

Renu Day Spa
Northern Suburbs 617 Central
Deerfield, IL 60018
(847) 940-9727 30 Minute Massage, normally $40
Essential Manicure and Brow Wax, normally $36
Essential Manicure and 15 Minute Chair Massage, normally $36

Lincoln Park Med Spa Laser Center
Neighborhood: Lincoln Park
2457 N. Halsted St
Chicago, IL 60614
(773) 525-4690
Laser Hair Removal (upper lip, chin, underarm, basic bikini): The Cutera Coolglide laser safely and effectively permanently removes hair plus it's safe for all skin types (normally $150-$250)
Photofacial: Safely removes unwanted pigmentation (red and brown) from the face or body such as sunspots, age spots, and vascularity (normally $450)
Broken Capillary Treatment: Instantly removes unwanted facial veins that are causing redness with no down time (normally $250)

Red 7 Salon
Northern Suburbs
816 Dempster St.
Evanston, IL 60202
(847) 866-7337 Men's Haircuts, normally $40

Women's Blow-out, normally $40

Continuum Studio
Neighborhood: Andersonville/ Edgewater 5671 N. Clark Street
Chicago, IL 60660
(773) 728-7883 30-minute Mini Massage: A Swedish massage designed to improve your body's circulation, fight fatigue, relieve muscle tension & reduce everyday stress (normally $50)
30-minute Maintenance Facial: Keep your skin healthy with a relaxing maintenance facial. Includes cleansing, exfoliation, masque & moisturizer to restore balance & glow (normally $50)
Hand & Foot Treatment: Provides hydration and repair for dry, chapped or rough hands & feet using the latest in Retinol-based vitamin repair (normally $45)

Salon Serene
Neighborhood: West Loop
625 W. Lake Street
Chicago, IL 60661
(312) 441-0140 Cocktail Me Pretty: We'll analyze your hair, cocktail the goodies together, apply , then give a 15 minute scalp massage, blow dry & teach you how we did it (normally $70 to $85)
Rags to Riches: Rescue hair from the sun & environment, while adding a hue of color for fall. Lastly, a blow-out and hair how-to (normally $100)

Patrick Anderson Long Hair Salon
Neighborhood: River North
708 North Dearborn
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 255-1488 Gloss by John Amico: Heal damaged hair with this gloss that seals in color and repairs, then adds volume and shine (normally up to $60)
Biominoil by Jalyd: This hair repair seals in color, adds luster and body, closes cuticle and adds vitamins and minerals where needed (normally up to $60)
Bio-Ionic flat iron treatment: Bring back life and luster to hair with this heat activated conditioning treatment done with a Bio-Ionic flat iron (normally $50 to $150 depending on hair length)

Michael Anthony Salon Spa
Neighborhood: Gold Coast
621- 623 State St.
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 253-0707 Michael Anthony Heavenly Hand Treatment: Hand treatment includes grooming of nails, hand massage, exfoliation and masque. Plus, a enjoy a tube of our Aveda Hand Relieving Treatment lotion (normally $40)

Michael Anthony Salon Spa
Neighborhood: Lincoln Park 1001 W. North Avenue
Chicago, IL
(312) 649-0707 Michael Anthony Heavenly Hand Treatment: Hand treatment includes grooming of nails, hand massage, exfoliation and masque. Plus, a enjoy a tube of our Aveda Hand Relieving Treatment lotion (normally $40)

Sona MedSpa
Schaumburg 1051 Perimeter Drive Suite 150
Schaumburg, IL 60173
(847) 330-9055 Medical Grade Microdermabrasion with complementary ultrasound: Microderm allows skin to regenerate healthy new skin cells & promotes decongesting. The ultrasound enhances the effects of skin care products (normally $125)
Laser Hair Removal of the Underarms: Underarms are first prepped with a cool gel before passing the laser light over the area. About 14 days later, hair falls out from the follicle (normally $225)

North Shore Day Spa
Glenview
1438 Waukegan Rd.
Glenview, IL 60025
(847) 657-0919
Basic Facial: Includes cleansing,exfoliating scrub, stream,extractions,mask,moisturizer and shoulder massage (normally $55)
Oriental tonic body wrap: This treatment calls upon Chinese herbs to exfoliate and hydrate the body (normally $65)

Spa Space
Neighborhood: The Loop 161 North Canal Street
Chicago, IL 60606
(312) 466-9585 Makeup consultation/application: We'll match the perfect shade of mineral foundation to your skin, show you how to apply it plus the $31 cost may be applied towards product purchase (normally $35)
Wine & Roses Manicure: Includes grapeseed scrub for exfoliation nourishment, rose oil for ultimate hydration, and a complimentary glass of wine for extra indulgence! (normally $35)

Niko Salon & Spa
Neighborhood: Lincoln Park 2504 North Clark Street
Chicago, IL 60614
(773) 472-0883 Bikini and Lip Wax: Summer may be over but Chicago Beauties won't forget to stay hair (normally $47)
Lime Zest Sugar Scrub Pedicure: Designed to rejuvenate from the outside in - with lime blossom, lemon grass & cardamon (normally $40)
Face waxing: Eyebrow, lip and chin waxing (normally $39)

Asha, An Aveda Salon and Spa
Schaumburg 601 N. Martingale Rd. Suite 233
Schaumburg, IL 60173
(847) 592-5000 Manicure of the Month- Breast Cancer Awareness Month Pink Malibu Manicure: Relax with a soothing blend of strawberry, raspberry, lemon, lime, kiwi and sugarcane. Your hands will feel relaxed and renewed in this velvety sweet smooth blend (normally $31)

Sinead Salon and Spa
Neighborhood: Southport 3510 N. Southport
Chicago, IL 60657
(773) 281-8700 Haircut plus blow dry and style: Senior stylist haircut plus blow dry with complimentary color consultation (normally $60)
Mini- Facial Treatment: After a detailed analysis of your skin, we design a facial to meet the needs of your individual skin type (normally $60)
Brazilian Bikini Wax: Take it all off or leave a little- it's up to you! Our highly trained Estheticians have 15+ years experience (normally $55+)

Lincoln Park Massage Spa
Neighborhood: Lincoln Park 630 W. Webster
Chicago, IL 60614
(773) 296-6300 30 minute Bliss Massage This Swedish massage concentrates on the neck, back, and shoulders (normally $45)
30 minute Chocolate/Vanilla Sugar Scrub: This gentle body exfoliation is performed with your choice of either our Chocolate or Vanilla Sugar Scrub from Bubalina (normally $50)
Aroma Paraffin Treatment for Feet & Hands: Each client gets their own single-use disposable paraffin gloves and boots. This treatment will help to exfoliate and moisturize (normally $35)

Eshe Day Spa & Salon
Neighborhood: South Loop
8 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 200
Chicago, IL 60603
(312) 629-0376 40 Minute Spiced Oil Massage: This warm spice scented massage uses medium pressure & heated oil to relax muscles and soothe your senses (normally $70)
30 Minute Facial with Brow Clean-Up: We'll cleanse, tone, exfoliate, and apply a custom mask before finishing off with a face lifting brow clean up (normally $80)
Spiced Pedicure with Paraffin Wax: Aromatherapy plus professional grooming and the soothing effect of warm paraffin will have your feet looking & feeling their best (normally $54)

Blush Spa
1365 Grand Ave.
Chicago, IL 60622
(312) 492-9300 1 Hour Thai massage: Ancient Asian body therapy to relieve stress and tight muscles. Ultimately realigning the body's energy flow (normally $80)
Brazilian wax: We use European hard wax, which is great for all skin types and is less irritating (normally $50)
Spa pedicure: A relaxing treat with a choice of warm soothing paraffin, or a cool mint mask to soften & heal feet (normally $48)

Marianne Strokirk
Neighborhood: River North 361 W. Chestnut Street
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 944-4428 Consultation and single process color with Ashley, normally $65 and up

.Kerastase Deep Conditioning Treatment Several treatments designed for all hair types. Penetrates hair fiber immediately resulting in shiny, repaired hair (normally $35 and up)

Lip, brow, and chin wax, normally $47

Salon Diva
Neighborhood: Lakeview 3326 N. Ashland Ave.
Chicago, IL 60657 Phone:
( 773) 435-0269 Women's Haircut Treatment: Enjoy a Salon Diva hair cut in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month (normally $40-45)

Exsalonce Salon & Day Spa
Roscoe Village 2150 West Roscoe
Chicago, IL 60618
(773) 327-4848 $31 Facial Treatment: A personalized facial to treat your specific concerns. Gentle cleansing, massage and customized mask revitalize and hydrate your skin (normally $65)
Massage: A combination of gentle Swedish massage and energizing shiatsu techniques. The rhythmic strokes of Swedish Massage prompt relaxation while shiatsu stimulates and opens energy pathways (normally $65)

Gordon Salon & Spa of Lakeview
Neighborhood: Lakeview 3336 N. Clark
Chicago, IL 60657
(773) 388-9999 30 Minute Massage session: Indulge in this fantastic Aveda style 30 minute massage that is quick and relaxing (normally $50)
Short Reiki treatment: Approximately 1/2 hour Reiki session, for energy balance, healing physical and emotional stress release (normally $50)

Changes Etc. (soon to be Caviar) Northern Suburbs 514 Higgins Rd.
Park Ridge, IL 60068
(847) 696-3100 Hairstyle and Color Revitalizing Service: All over color and style Jessica, Amanda, Mary Kate or Jennifer
Single Process Hair Color, normally $53

Fashionista Nail Spa & Image Consulting, Inc.
Gold Coast 30 E. Division Street, Lobby Level
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 202-9004 "Fashionista" Manicure & Pedicure: Our Exclusive Manicure & Pedicure with Shea Butter Cream & Salt Scrub. Served with a complimentary beverage, normally $60
Lemon Meringue Manicure & Pedicure: Sugar Exfoliant Lemon Meringue Scrub is used followed by Rich Moisturizing Lemon Souffle. Served w/complimentary lemon tea, normally $90
Pumpkin Manicure & Pedicure: Hands & Feet are moisturized with rich shea butter cream. Served with a complimentary beverage, normally $60

Delle Amiche Salon
Gold Coast 980 N. Michigan Ave. #250
Chicago, IL 60611
(312) 337-2665 Makeup Application: Professional Makeup Application featuring jane iredale, the skin care makeup. Stop in and choose your new fall colors (normally $45)
Haircut and blowdry: Let our expert stylists. update your look for the fall season (normally $75)

Roque Salon
River North 24 West Erie
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 863-7678 Brow tint and lash tint (normally $55)

Brow shape and lash tint (normally $55)

Manicure and pedicure (normally $60)

Spa 195 195 N. Harbor Dr.
Chicago, IL 60601
(312) 552-9000 Pumpkin Pedicure: Enjoy a fall pumpkin pedicure with scented pumpkin lotions and scrubs to smooth and soften your tired tootsies (normally $50)
Men's Cut & Style: Enjoy a men's cut and style in our new hair salon addition. Sit back, relax and enjoy the pampering session (normally $41)
Women's Wash & Blow Out: Got a hot date? Come in for a wash and blow out before you paint the town pink! Normally $45

Sanctuary Nail Spa
Neighborhood: Old Town 1500 N. Well, 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 867-1620 Treat for Two: You and a friend can enjoy our long wearing Spa Manicure with exfoliant, massage and hot towels (normally $40)
French Fingers & Toes: Try our French manicure and let us match your toes or choose from the Essie & OPI Fall lines (normally $35)
A Touch of Magic for your Fingers and a little treat for the Toes: Get our Basic Pedicure & a polish change for fingers. Plus, check out our No-Chip Manicure- it lasts 2 weeks without CHIPPING (normally $45)

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2006-10-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

The month of October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Why do I care about this? For those of you who don't know, my mother died of breast cancer. For those of you who don't have much knowledge about breast cancer, read below to gain some understanding. I have enclosed a list of myths for people who may be unaware that certain "facts" about breast cancer are false:

What is your risk of breast cancer? Which breast cancer treatment is right for you? What about antiperspirants and breast cancer?

What you don't know CAN hurt you. Misinformation can keep you from recognizing and minimizing your own risk of breast cancer or getting the very best possible care. Arm yourself with the facts.

Here are ten common myths about breast cancer, followed by myths about specific types of breast cancer treatment.

Breast cancer only affects older women.
No.

While it's true that the risk of breast cancer increases as we grow older, breast cancer can occur at any age. From birth to age 39, one woman in 231 will get breast cancer (<0.5% risk); from age 40–59, the chance is one in 25 (4% risk); from age 60–79, the chance is one in 15 (nearly 7%). Assuming you live to age 90, the chance of getting breast cancer over the course of an entire lifetime is one in 7, with an overall lifetime risk of 14.3%.

If you have a risk factor for breast cancer, you're likely to get the disease.
No.

Getting breast cancer is not a certainty, even if you have one of the stronger risk factors, like a breast cancer gene abnormality. Of women with a BRCA1 or BRCA2 inherited genetic abnormality, 40–80% will develop breast cancer over their lifetime; 20–60% won't. All other risk factors are associated with a much lower probability of being diagnosed with breast cancer.

If breast cancer doesn't run in your family, you won't get it.
No.

Every woman has some risk of breast cancer. About 80% of women who get breast cancer have no known family history of the disease. Increasing age – just the wear and tear of living – is the biggest single risk factor for breast cancer. For those women who do have a family history of breast cancer, your risk may be elevated a little, a lot, or not at all. If you are concerned, discuss your family history with your physician or a genetic counselor. You may be worrying needlessly.

Only your mother's family history of breast cancer can affect your risk.
No.

A history of breast cancer in your mother's OR your father's family will influence your risk equally. That's because half of your genes come from your mother, half from your father. But a man with a breast cancer gene abnormality is less likely to develop breast cancer than a woman with a similar gene. So, if you want to learn more about your father's family history, you have to look mainly at the women on your father's side, not just the men.

Using antiperspirants causes breast cancer.
No.

There is no evidence that the active ingredient in antiperspirants, or reducing perspiration from the underarm area, influences breast cancer risk. The supposed link between breast cancer and antiperspirants is based on misinformation about anatomy and a misunderstanding of breast cancer.

Birth control pills cause breast cancer.
No.

Modern day birth control pills contain a low dose of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. They have not been associated with an increased risk of breast cancer. The higher-dose contraceptive pills used in the past were associated with a small increased risk, in only a few studies. Today's birth control pills can provide some protection against ovarian cancer.

Eating high-fat foods causes breast cancer.
No.

Several large studies have not been able to demonstrate a clear connection between eating high-fat foods and a higher risk of breast cancer. Ongoing studies are attempting to clarify this issue further. We can say that avoidance of high-fat foods is a healthy choice for other reasons: to lower the "bad" cholesterol (low-density lipoproteins), increase the "good" cholesterol (high-density lipoproteins); to make more room your diet for healthier foods, and to help you control your weight. Excess body weight, IS a risk factor for breast cancer, because the extra fat increases the production of estrogen outside the ovaries and adds to the overall level of estrogen in the body. If you are already overweight, or have a tendency to gain weight easily, avoiding high-fat foods is a good idea.

A monthly breast self-exam is the best way to diagnose breast cancer.
No.

High quality, film-screen mammography is the most reliable way to find breast cancer as early as possible, when it is most curable. By the time a breast cancer can be felt, it is usually bigger than the average size of a cancer first found on mammography. Breast examination by you or your healthcare provider is still very important. About 25% of breast cancers are found only on breast examination (not on the mammogram), about 35% are found on mammography alone, and 40% are found by both physical exam and mammography. Keep both bases covered.

I'm at high risk for breast cancer and there's nothing I can do about it.
No.

There are several effective ways to reduce—but not eliminate—the risk of breast cancer in women at high risk. Options include lifestyle changes (minimize alcohol consumption, stop smoking, exercise regularly), medication (tamoxifen, also called Nolvadex); and in cases of very high risk, surgery may be offered (prophylactic mastectomies, and for some women, prophylactic ovary removal). Be sure that you have consulted with a physician or genetic counselor before you make assumptions about your level of risk.

A breast cancer diagnosis is an automatic death sentence.
No.

Fully 80% of women diagnosed with breast cancer have no signs of metastases (no cancer has spread beyond the breast and nearby lymph nodes). Furthermore, 80% of these women live at least five years, most longer, and many live much longer. Even women with signs of cancer metastases can live a long time. Plus promising treatment breakthroughs are becoming available each day.

source: http://www.breastcancer.org

wow

2006-10-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

when it's pouring buckets and hailing in October, you get soaked, and have been fasting all day, a girl's self esteem may not be at its peak. but when someone stops her in the street grinning and says, in perfect Spanish,

"Que paso amor?"

a girl can't help but smile and think that, regardless of all else, everything will be alright because someone thinks she's beautiful.

so it's been awhile...

2006-10-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

My most sincere apologies for the delay in updating my life in the blog-o-sphere. Brian must not be extremely pleased with me, but may eventually come to forgive :) After all, 'tis the season.

A quick update on life and onto thoughts:

1. I did, in fact, make it through senior year and finish my BA. G-d bless the patience and brilliance of my adviser. I graduated with both general and departmental honors from the College with a degree in Jewish Studies and Law, Letters and Society. Apparently, all the struggle/strife/time on the fourth floor of the Reg paid off. In a sick and twisted way, I actually miss the Reg.

2. I still live in Hyde Park in my same place. If you are also in Hyde Park (or not!) stop by sometime.

3. I work for a Jewish non-profit a bit north of Chicago. I started working there in early July and enjoy my job. Stress there ebbs and flows. I have learned a great deal there. My boss and primary co-worker are a trip, and the rest of the staff are very pleasant for the most part. The problems with my job are: given that it's a Jewish organization, there is food. Everywhere. All the time. The commute is also not the greatest, but at least I go to a place that I enjoy and know I make a difference in peoples' lives.

4. I have a car. A beautiful red car that I make car payments on. Having a car in Chicago is the best thing ever, except when you try to park it in Hyde Park.

5. I have a new roommate. It's definitely not what I am used to, but she is super caring and has a huge heart. I think all will be okay.

6. I took the LSAT Saturday. Don't ask me how it went.

I think that's pretty much it. Now, onto thoughts.

One's first year out of college requires a really big adjustment. My roommate is a fourth year and going about her normal schedule of classes, activities, homework, etc. Every day we both get up early; I head off to work and she to her various destinations. I have to say that, while it's nice at night to relax and not do homework, I do miss school. I hope to go back next year. However, if for some reason it doesn't happen, I will move to the north side, get a dog, and keep working. Life will go on and be okay.

Given that the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur just happened, one would think I had, as usual, done tremendous amount of self reflection. Truth be told, I had no time to do that this year because of the timing of the LSAT. I can honestly say that this was the first time I have not even had the chance to enjoy the holidays. They are usually one of my favorite times of year. I can say, however, that this year in its sum total is one of the times when I have done the most soul searching and self reflection since probably age seventeen. And that says a lot, because seventeen was a big year for me.

I am trying to understand that it is okay to enjoy life now, in the present, when things are uncertain. For those who know me, this is extremely difficult. However, of all people, I should know that when the Dave Matthews Band (whose music I do not particularly enjoy) said "life is short but sweet for certain" they really weren't kidding around. It's true. And I am doing my best to figure it out and enjoy the ride.

Note: I realize this post may be convoluted and confusing. If you like, call for details, though I cannot guarantee there will be much more revealed there, either.

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

2006-04-10T19:12:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of applying for jobs post-graduation. I forgot how much this sucks and am currently semi-kicking myself for not applying to grad school straight out of college. Why, you ask, does this process suck?

First of all, it reminds you of your utter insignificance. You are an entry-level, bottom of the barrel, lowest rung of the ladder, gum on the bottom of someone's shoe office bitch. It doesn't matter how much money you will be making in a starting entry-level position, what your undergraduate degree is, where you went to school, how many lives you've saved, what you got on your SATs, or how amazing you think you may be. You, as the potential employee, cease to matter the moment you apply for a job. You lose all of your human qualities and become a robot. Your job? Mechanically spit out cover letters, prattle off your qualifications, and suck up expertly to people who matter. Why do these people matter? You see, the infamous "they" have the capacity to sign off on that all powerful key to your daily existence: a paycheck. That's right. It's what we all need to live and subsist on a daily basis in this world. Maybe these people in their plush rolling office chairs forgot what it was like to be scared of the real world post-graduation. Better yet, maybe rap stars weren't so wrong when they talked about makin' that paper/cheese/bling/dough/green/bread and the need to just "get paaaaaaaaaaid, brotha!"

As a result of your insignificance, no one feels any compulsion to get back to you. Ever. Yesterday I was supposed to hear about a fellowship. I anxiously checked my email all day to hear word. This isn't any fellowship, either. It's THE fellowship that I desperately want for next year. I have hyped it up to all of my friends and family, and had a great interview in spite of writing a cheesy essay for my application. And did I get said much anticipated email? No. I sat and spazed out at the Reg in typical Jo fashion--quasi-attempting to do homework, listening to Israeli music, and clicking my mouse obsessively on the "Refresh" part of my email. I drafted three emails to write to the director of the program, and told myself to stop being OCD. I wanted to be fair, and didn't want to email him without giving him a full 24 hours of April 9 to inform me of my status. After all, at my interview, I was told there were 80 applications to about 8-15 slots. I then waited all day today. Nothing. I finally caved and emailed him because another friend told me she heard from them. Even if I get an email getting no love, at least I would know my status and be able to plan/respond accordingly. Does it take that much of a person's time to write an email saying, "No, you suck, bye" or "Yay, we love you, here's a job?" No. But do people care about entry-level kids straight out of college who are essentially going to be gophers for a year or two? No. Not at all. There is not even a pretense of decency and basic politeness about the process. It's all about power dynamics.

I understand that these people are busy and have better things to do. That's totally cool with me. But, honestly, how hard is it to keep your word to someone? During the hellish process that is currently known as my life senior year--writing a BA paper, being a full time student, having a part-time job, attempting to meet my own basic needs for survival--applying for full time employment post-graduation is so difficult. Do these people actually need to make it harder? No. Do they anyway? Of course. Because, again, you don't matter.

If this were my only frustrating story, I would chalk it up to the disorganization of the non-profit world. But, of course, that isn't the case because, to quote another cliche, when it rains, it really fucking pours.

I was supposed to have an interview on Friday to be someone's research assistant here at the U of C. The job actually sounded really interesting, and I was getting excited about it. I planned my entire day around the phone interview. I went home to ensure privacy and confidentiality during the interview. At the appointed time of 3:30, my cell phone rings. The conversation afterwards goes something like this:

Me: Hello?
Interviewer: Hello Joelle, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I don't have time to interview you today.
Me: Oh...okay. I understand; you are probably very busy.
Interviewer: Yeah..but I can ask you a few questions. What is your experience with ____?
Me: *brief explanation*
Interviewer: Okay, yeah, great, yeah.. I'll try to get back to you next week, but as you know, it's the Jewish holiday of Passover.
Me: Yes, I celebrate the holiday too
Interviewer: Yeah, so, I'll try to get back to you but am not making any promises. Great chatting with you.
Me: Yeah, thanks for your...time. Have a nice holiday.

*end of convo*

The simple question is this: if you didn't have time to interview me on Friday at 3:30, WHY DID YOU SCHEDULE IT FOR THAT TIME? WHY? YOU CHOSE THE TIME!!!!! CHOOSE A TIME THAT WORKS FOR YOU AND STICK WITH IT! One of the first lessons we all learn as small children is the importance of following through with a committment, even if it is something we don't like. Our parents/mentors always make us suck it up and confront whatever it is we are forced to reckon with. Why do people in positions of power forget the basic rules of human contact we learn in kindergarten? Unclear. Really, just unclear.

One step further, if said interviewer knew he/she couldn't make that particular time because of something which happened that day, he/she could have easily just sent me an email saying it wasn't feasible. This would have allowed me to stay at the Reg and write/work more on my BA instead of come home and loaf. But did he/she do this? No. Why? To be davka, and/or because he/she has the power to sign paychecks while I remain an insignificant, hopeful recipient.

And that, my friends, is my current potential employment status. I am off to return to the world of my BA, which is brightened only by interactions with suffering fellow students and the brilliant insights of one Leon R. Kass, who remains the most brilliant yet humble man I have ever met. It remains mind boggling how someone of Mr. Kass' intelligence and fame remains humble, welcoming, and kind to his students. Why is it that Mr. Kass has the capacity to treat me as someone of significance, and employers are devoid of that quality altogether? Sigh.

Back to the BA... Hopefully, in days to come a more pleasant update will be had. Until then, just remember that if you are reading this blog (especially if you are a graduating fourth year!) you are significant to me, even if not to potential employers or the evil that is the corporate world. Much love.

Job Interview

2006-02-28T08:24:00.000-08:00

Yay for having my first interview for post-college jobs! Woo! However, one problem: my interview is at 8:10 PM! A bizarre time, no? I'm going to have to walk around all day looking like a toolbox in a suit, and bring make-up with me to touch up beforehand. Growl.

U of C Madness

2006-02-23T17:42:00.000-08:00

The entire incident concerning J.C. and B.F. on campus should not have been as shocking to me as it was, yet continues to nag at me from the back of my brain. If you don't know what has been going on with this balagan (big mess, for you non-Hebrew speakers out there), check out the link below, courtesy of Ian:

http://www.jbelleisle.com

The synopsis of the situation is provided there, so I won't bother to rehash or recount the details. As I see it, two questions are raised by this issue:

1. Why did the University not allow them to protest in a proper, civilized fashion?

2. When is it appropriate (if ever) to invoke symbols like swastikas in the name of free speech and/or freedom of expression?

In my humble opinion (which you deigned to read by finding me in the blog-o-sphere), J.C. et al should have been allowed to protest the presence of the US Military or Marine recruiters on campus. Let's be honest--no one ever likes being screamed at in a hostile way in the Reynold's Club (or at all in general). I always find myself wanting to punch people who harass and scream at me on my way to class in the face because, really, I'm stressed enough on a regular basis. However, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinions. If J.C. et al wanted to protest and attempted to request a table in RC like everyone else on this campus, they had every right to do so. Why the University did not allow them to do so is another question to which students deserve an answer.

The manner in which they protested is another matter altogether. Deliberate and continued harassment for its own sake is not acceptable. I do not think that it was appropriate to invoke the symbol of the swastika and play act like Nazis in the RC (especially not directly across from the Hillel/Jewish Student Association table). Perhaps it's because of my own background as a Jew with inherent sensitivity towards the Holocaust. The swastika is a symbol that has a very specific connotation: suffering, hatred, racism and murder. I think it's clear that the invocation of a symbol like the swastika has one purpose: to piss people off. Here at the University of Chicago, people know their history. People know what the swastika means, and know the events of the twentieth century committed by Adolf Hitler. The excuse of ignorance is not viable here.

Moreover, the posters and protest done by J.C. and B.F. are especially significant for one particular reason: they are Jews. Invocation of the Holocaust by Jews for purposes of comparison demeans the entire historical event. Comparing the discussion of a Marine Corps officer with potential recruits to the genocide of the Holocaust doesn't equate in my mind. It's hyperbole in the extreme, and demeans the deaths of all who suffered under the Nazis. Acting out the role of a Nazi soldier and holding up signs with swastikas does not effectively criticize the University for allowing military recruitment on campus OR effectively critique the policies of the Bush administration. While I am not a supporter of many Bush administration policies, I do not think that the president is a fascist. While the occasional joke about it may be somewhat amusing, George W. Bush has not plotted the systematic execution of people based on warped eugenic policies. He has not established concentration camps. He has done and implemented a great many things that deserve close scrutiny, criticism, and analysis...but he has not committed atrocities anywhere near the scale of what occurred during World War II. We are a nation currently at war in a country for purposes which many people do not endorse. Protest and criticism of the war in Iraq (and other policies of the administration) is welcome, encouraged and expected in healthy political discourse. Even with all of our current problems, I have great faith and pride in American ideals of civil rights, civil liberties, and all of that good stuff (yeah yeah, go ahead and make fun of my mushy patriotism...).

Conclusively, I don't think it's generally effective strategically in politics to do something for the sheer purpose of being inflammatory. In politics (in a modern context), to win people over to one's side, he/she needs to play towards the center and convince others that his/her ideas are not especially radical. Obviously there are numerous historic examples of dramatic demonstrations and symbolic invocation which prove me wrong (burning the flag, burning bras, I could go on forever). However, this is a college campus where these methods only illicit the following: scorn, disrepute, and consequences of the administration. The behavior of J.C. and B.F. was, in my opinion, absurdly over the top and (borderline) unforgivable. The purpose of their protest did not create a need for the invocation of swastikas or acting like Nazis. If these tactics were truly necessary to garner the attention of students and faculty, perhaps their message was not meant to be heard at all.

Fabulousness

2006-01-31T11:01:00.000-08:00

This morning, I came home from my boyfriend's apartment to find my roommate at her computer. "Jo, you have to read this," Lisa said, and shoved her computer in my general direction. What follows is the sheer brilliance she shared with me. I feel it follows the trend of my posts so far quite well.

If Men Could Menstruate

by Gloria Steinem

Living in India made me understand that a white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking a white skin makes people superior, even though the only thing it really does is make them more subject to ultraviolet rays and wrinkles.

Reading Freud made me just as skeptical about penis envy. The power of giving birth makes "womb envy" more logical, and an organ as external and unprotected as the penis makes men very vulnerable indeed.

But listening recently to a woman describe the unexpected arrival of her menstrual period (a red stain had spread on her dress as she argued heatedly on the public stage) still made me cringe with embarrassment. That is, until she explained that, when finally informed in whispers of the obvious event, she said to the all-male audience, "and you should be proud to have a menstruating woman on your stage. It's probably the first real thing that's happened to this group in years."

Laughter. Relief. She had turned a negative into a positive. Somehow her story merged with India and Freud to make me finally understand the power of positive thinking. Whatever a "superior" group has will be used to justify its superiority, and whatever and "inferior" group has will be used to justify its plight. Black me were given poorly paid jobs because they were said to be "stronger" than white men, while all women were relegated to poorly paid jobs because they were said to be "weaker." As the little boy said when asked if he wanted to be a lawyer like his mother, "Oh no, that's women's work." Logic has nothing to do with oppression.

So what would happen if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?

Clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, worthy, masculine event:

Men would brag about how long and how much.

Young boys would talk about it as the envied beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious ceremonies, family dinners, and stag parties would mark the day.

To prevent monthly work loss among the powerful, Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea. Doctors would research little about heart attacks, from which men would be hormonally protected, but everything about cramps.

Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields- "For Those Light Bachelor Days."

Statistical surveys would show that men did better in sports and won more Olympic medals during their periods.

Generals, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve God and country in combat ("You have to give blood to take blood"), occupy high political office ("Can women be properly fierce without a monthly cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priests, ministers, God Himself ("He gave this blood for our sins"), or rabbis ("Without a monthly purge of impurities, women are unclean").

Male liberals and radicals, however, would insist that women are equal, just different; and that any woman could join their ranks if only she were willing to recognize the primacy of menstrual rights ("Everything else is a single issue") or self-inflict a major wound every month ("You must give blood for the revolution").

Street guys would invent slang ("He's a three-pad man") and "give fives" on the corner with some exchenge like, "Man you lookin' good!"

"Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!"

TV shows would treat the subject openly. (Happy Days: Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has missed two periods in a row. Hill Street Blues: The whole precinct hits the same cycle.) So would newspapers. (Summer Shark Scare Threatens Menstruating Men. Judge Cites Monthlies In Pardoning Rapist.) And so would movies. (Newman and Redford in Blood Brothers!)

Men would convince women that sex was more pleasurable at "that time of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself, though all they needed was a good menstruating man.

Medical schools would limit women's entry ("they might faint at the sight of blood").

Of course, intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguements. Without the biological gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets, how could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics-- or the ability to measure anything at all? In philosophy and religion, how could women compensate for being disconnected from the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death and resurrection every month?

Menopause would be celebrated as a positive event, the symbol that men had accumulated enough years of cyclical wisdom to need no more.

Liberal males in every field would try to be kind. The fact that "these people" have no gift for measuring life, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough.

And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine right-wing women agreeing to all these arguements with a staunch and smiling masochism. ("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month": Phyllis Schlafly)

In short, we would discover, as we should already, that logic is in the eye of the logician. (For instance, here's an idea for theorists and logicians: if women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that, in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long? I leave further improvisation up to you.)

The truth is that, if men could menstruate, the power justifications would go on and on.

If we let them.

More on Sexual Assault Awareness Week

2006-01-30T16:13:00.000-08:00

Just to answer those nagging questions, I wanted to post the FAQs that people are pondering about the University not having a sexual assault policy. No, I am not a raging femme-Nazi, but I do think that this is one of those no-brainer bonehead things the University should've done a long time ago. Anyway, check out the facts:

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Common Sense says there was only one rape at the University in 2004. Does the University really need a policy if it only applies to one person every year?
Common Sense only reports crimes that are reported to the police and those crimes that occur on University property or in areas contiguous to University property. Fewer than 1 in 20 campus rapes or attempted rapes are reported to the police. This is because the vast majority of rape on college campuses is acquaintance rape and generally is unreported (see next question). Furthermore, most rape happens in the home of the victim or a close friend and student apartments, because they do not constitute University property, are not included in the Common Sense statistics. In fact, sexual assault does happen at the University of Chicago, in much greater numbers than Common Sense would have you believe.

2. Shouldn’t the police handle it? It’s not the University’s job.
Sexual assault is a felony and a serious crime. However, because of the way in which law enforcement handles sexual assault and the fact that most rape is acquaintance rape, most rape goes unreported. According to a report prepared by the majority staff of the Senate Judiciary Committee in 1993, fewer than 1 in 20 completed or attempted campus rapes are reported. Survivors may find it extremely difficult to report a boyfriend, classmate, husband, girlfriend, partner, sibling or parent to the police. Because of this, it is important that the University have a mechanism to handle sexual assault that occurs within the University. Whether or not a survivor chooses to file a police report, they still deserve to feel and be safe, particularly on campus, in classes, in dormitories, and as a part of the University community. Finally, even when a rape is reported to the police, it might not be prosecuted by the criminal justice system. In particular, acquaintance rape is rarely prosecuted, and a University policy would provide a nonlegal mechanism through which survivors could attempt to reclaim their safety and control over their lives even if the criminal justice system chose not to prosecute their case. Many other universities, including Stanford, Harvard, Caltech, U. Penn, UC Berkeley, and Princeton have explicit sexual assault policies.

3. Why should I care?
It’s easy to think that sexual assault happens elsewhere or that all rapists jump out from bushes or attack their victims in abandoned alleys. In reality, most rape is acquaintance rape and most rape happens in the home of a victim or a friend or relative. According to a study in 2000, 34% of completed rapes and 45% of attempted rapes take place on campus. That means that at the U of C, with 4000 undergraduate students, there are, on average, four or five rapes every week for the entire school year. It is well accepted that 1 in 4 college women is a survivor of rape of attempted rape . Chances are you know more than four women. Chances are high that you or a close friend or family member has been or will be a rape survivor. It is important to understand what sexual assault is, how you can take care of yourself if it happens to you, and how to help a friend who has been assaulted. You probably also want your friends and family to have access to sexual assault resources and clear explanations of actions that they can take within the University for their own safety.

4. This seems like a women’s issue.
It is true that the majority of sexual assault survivors are women. However, men constitute almost 10% of rape victims, that is more than 30,000 male rape victims per year in the United States. Sexual assault is not a gender-specific crime. Men, women, and transgendered people may be survivors of or perpetrators of sexual assault. Heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people may be survivors of or perpetrators of sexual assault. Sexual assault affects all communities and people of all ages, backgrounds, ethnicities, and experiences.

5. Don’t we already have a sexual harassment policy?
We do have a sexual harassment policy; most universities established them in the early 1980s, and the U of C adopted its policy in 1990. Sexual harassment is prohibited by federal laws, including Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Title IX of the Education Amendment of 1972, and the Civil Rights Act of 1991. However, a sexual harassment policy is not enough. According to Illinois law, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, and sexual assault constitute three separate crimes, and the latter two are extremely serious (misdemeanor and felony, respectively). It is essential that University policy distinguish among these three offenses. Furthermore, sexual harassment is predominately “[dealt] with informally”, which is frequently not the appropriate manner in which to handle sexual assault. Finally, the characterization of sexual assault as a “direct form of sexual harassment” trivializes both crimes. Sexual assault is a violent crime and much more serious than sexual harassment. However, sexual harassment is itself a direct action.

6. What about false accusations?
Many people are concerned that increasing the ease with which survivors can come forward and file a complaint would also increase the number of false accusations made. This belief is completely inaccurate. In particular, sexual assault is currently the most underreported of all crimes (see number 2) and, according to the US Department of Justice, no crime is less likely to be falsely reported than sexual assault. This is in part because our society imposes a huge stigma against sexual assault survivors. Furthermore, having explicit definitions of sexual assault/abuse/harassment and of consent would benefit someone who was falsely accused of rape, unlikely as it is. Furthermore, we are also asking the University to explicitly detail the rights of the accused, as well as the complainant, in disciplinary proceedings.

7. What’s the policy now?
The University of Chicago currently does not have any explicit policy statement about sexual assault on campus. Sexual assault is handed by the Dean of Students in the division of the accused. The University does have a sexual harassment policy (see number 5) but this is not sufficient. Many other universities, including Stanford, Harvard, Caltech, U. Penn, UC Berkeley, and Princeton, have explicit sexual assault policies that are distinct from their sexual harassment policies.

8. What have you already done?
We’ve met with a number of different administrators (see number 11). We wrote up a letter detailing our complaints; nineteen student organizations, including the University Student Government, endorsed the letter. We also obtained more than 700 signatures on a petition demanding a comprehensive sexual assault policy; these signatures came from undergraduates, graduates, faculty, parents and other members of the University community. On the resource front, we successfully spearheaded the effort to put together a comprehensive website about sexual violence (sexualviolence.uchicago.edu) that is intended to provide information about what sexual violence is, what forms it takes, the various avenues and resources available to a survivor, for example. We also worked with the College Programing Office to improve the way that sexual assault is discussed during Orientation Week and to improve the training of O-leaders.

9. What is sexual assault/harassment/abuse?
According to Illinois State Law, sexual harassment is unwanted sexual attention, usually verbal. Once there is physical contact, the offense becomes sexual abuse, defined as an unwanted act of sexual conduct by use/threat of force, including groping, unwanted touching, and anything leading up to penetration. Once there is penetration, the offense is sexual assault, defined as sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth by the use or threat of force, even slight. Penetration can be digital (with fingers), with an object, or with an organ (penis, tongue). Rape is the more informal term for sexual assault, but in the state of Illinois, the two mean the same.

10. What do you want the University to do?
We insist on an official University Policy on Sexual Assault to include the following:
• A Zero Tolerance Statement
• Clear definitions of sexual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual harassment
• A statement that sexual assault is not gender-specific
• Clear instructions for how a survivor can seek help, report the crime, and take action
• Explicit descriptions of how the University responds to sexual assault
• Explicit descriptions of disciplinary action available within the university, including the rights of the survivor and the accused
• Descriptions of prevention and educational programs within the University

11. With whom are you working?
We’ve been meeting regularly with Martina Munsters; she is working on a proposal to put together a committee to begin talking about having a sexual assault policy. We’ve also met with Bill Michel and Susan Art. We’ve also met with Aneesah Ali, the Affirmative Action Coordinator. Copies of our petition have been sent to Don Randel, Steve Klass, Richard Sallers, Aneesah Ali, Martha Roth, Belinda Cortez-Vasquez, and Susan Art.

12. Is any of this actually going to do anything?
We hope so. According to a study by the Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, a vast majority of rape service agencies believe that public education about rape, and expanded counseling and advocacy services for rape victims would be effective in increasing the willingness of victims to report rapes to the police. We hope that expanding knowledge about rape on this campus, and improving options for survivors will be an effective means to help survivors through the process and, eventually, reduce rape at the university.

Letters of Rec and Ethics

2006-01-30T16:07:00.000-08:00

I am currently applying for a fellowship to do non-profit through Princeton University through something called Project 55 (check it out at www.actbig.org). It's a fellowship where you work for a non-profit organization for a year after graduation in a field of interest to you. I am trying for education policy in Chicago Public Schools, so we'll see what happens.

Anyway, in order to apply for this business, you need to submit a transcript, an essay, the application, and two letters of recommendation. All of this is totally standard fare. The only problem I am currently having is as follows: one of my recommenders (my boss at work) told me to write myself a letter of rec, and that she would sign off on it. "Feel free to embellish as much as you want," she said, "because it's all true." It was a high compliment to receive from one's boss, yet I am still a bit perplexed. How does one go about doing something like this?

The fabulous Naomi said that it was totally ethical and something that people do all the time. This I don't doubt; no one wants to take the time to do anything that can't be delivered instantly via some form of technology. But how do I do this? I have no idea what to say. I asked her for some ideas, and she gave me standard fare: diligent, hard working, responsible, creative... I just feel like a massive tool even thinking about putting pen to paper (or hands to keys?) to write this. Suggestions?

Sexual Assault Awareness Week

2006-01-29T23:10:00.000-08:00

This week is Sexual Assault Awareness week and all you bitches better participate. Ask me about wearing a 1 in 4 t-shirt on Friday (for further explanation of the meaning of 1 in 4, see below). The shirt is free and this will help the administration get a clue that we need a sexual assault policy. That's right, the U of C has no formal sexual assualt policy! Problematic, no? Anyway, ask me or email Aya (aya@uchicago.edu) to get a shirt to wear. They are totally free and super stylish. The rest of the events for the week are as follows:

January 30- February 3

Our goal is by Friday, February 3, every single person on the U of C campus (undergraduate and graduate students, faculty members, staff members, everyone!) will understand the following two points:

1) Sexual assault happens at the U of C
In a study of private and public 4-year universities, 1 in 4 undergraduate women has experienced rape or attempted rape. Sexual assaults reported in U of C publications (e.g. Commonsense) are only those for which a police report has been filed and that which happens on the University campus. Since ~90% of sexual assault goes unreported (even more on university campuses), the number of sexual assaults reported in U of C publications grossly underestimates what's actually happening. Furthermore, most rape happens in the home of the victim or a friend, and student apartments (off the University campus) do not count in the Common Sense statistic.

2) The University has NO official Sexual Assault Policy
The only reference to sexual assault in existing University Policy is a definition of sexual assault as "a direct form of sexual harassment" (and nothing else) in the sexual harassment policy. The new disciplinary policies make some reference to the specific policies of disciplinary hearings during sexual assault but these include no enumeration of informal options, the rights of the complainant and the accused, or resources for survivors available on campus. Additionally, there is not extensive education about sexual harassment and sexual assault is required or available of many authority positions, including TAs and faculty. Stop by our tables, MWF in the Reynold's Club between 11 and 2.

Monday: Thelma and Louise
Free screening in BSLC 115
Discussion to follow
FREE PIZZA AND DRINKS

Coordinated by Southside Sexual Assault and Violence Educators

Tuesday/Thursday:
Free hot drinks outside Cobb Stop by our table for FREE hot chocolate, tea, and cider on the quads. Facts about sexual violence or about the way the university handles sexual violence come free with the hot drinks as part of our consciousness-raising campaign.
12-2

Thursday: What is Sexual Assault?
Vicki Sides, director of Resources for Sexual Violence Prevention, address what sexual assault is and how is manifests itself and affects different communities. What is Rape Trauma Syndrome? What do you do if you are assaulted? How can you help a friend who has been assaulted? What resources are available to survivors? What actions can survivors take? Crucial information about sexual assault for everyone.

Vicki Sides (Director of RSVP)
Free Dinner
Stuart 101

Friday: 1 in 4
Wear a FREE t-shirt that says 1 in 4, the number of college women who have experienced rape or attempted rape. Pick up shirts:

Wednesday, 1:30-9:30 PM: Reynold's Club basement
Thursday: 4-6, 8-10 (Reynold's Club basement)
6-8 (Stuart 101)

Please contact Michelle (rengaraj@uchicago.edu) or Raedy (rping@uchicago.edu) if you are interested in participating or if you need more information.

Also, let me know if you want to help flier, set up events, or any of that good stuff :)

a new virtual home!

2006-01-29T14:33:00.000-08:00

So this is my new blog, where hopefully I will be less whiny and more interesting. Also, perhaps I will post more frequently. My high school teachers pushed me to do this, so be prepared for rants about politics, fashion, the University of Chicago, and all other fun things I enjoy. Yay for me!